I am 2 months into my healthier lifestyle change. What once seemed so impossible now seems incredibly possible. I have lost 30 lbs in 2 months. I feel so much better about myself. I can feel my mama confidence creeping back in. I am wanting to dress up more, and do my hair and make up, and not just hide in sweats and a top knot. I still have a long way to go but I am learning so much about myself.
I have learned that I can push myself. I can be intense, and I can train to have the healthy, muscular yet curvy body that I want. There is another woman at the gym that goes pretty much the same days and times as I do, and she has made a couple comments to be about how intensely I work out, and that she wants to watch me to see what I do. Even though I still have a lot of body fat to lose, it feels good knowing that I am getting stronger, and that people are noticing. I love to inspire others, and when my mind is set on something I love the determination that comes out in me!
I have learned that I don’t need sugar to survive. One of my biggest and baddest habits pre healthy lifestyle was my sweet tooth. I could easily eat a few rows of cookies, or an entire brownie pan. I loved cake, muffins, chocolate. Basically if it was sweet and chewy and moist I was eating it. Don’t get me wrong I loved my potato chips too but the overload of sugar was what got me to where I was. Now I check every label. It is crazy how much sugar is in things you don’t expect sauces, and granola bars, soups… it’s actually out of hand the added sugars in our foods. I don’t add sugar to anything, although I still really miss it in coffee…. I haven’t quite found a coffee alternative that works for me so that has just led me to drinking less coffee.
Which brings me to the next thing I have learned. Even though I am a busy mom. I don’t need coffee to survive. Haha some of you might be straight up calling me crazy but lets rephrase that. I don’t need it every day! I am finding myself with so much more energy and I start each day off with a fat burning, cleansing, detoxifying drink. Which I will make a whole post about soon. So after I drink that drink I rarely have time for my coffee because I am off to the gym, but if I do find I need a little boost I will bring it in a travel mug and I make my own version of a bullet proof coffee! Every now and then I treat myself to how I like it with 3/4 tsp of sugar and extra cream but it is no longer a daily (sometimes twice a day) routine! I used to go to either Starbucks or Tim Hortons Every single day – in the past 2 months I have been to Starbucks twice, and those were both on days our foster babes went home and I just needed a frap to feel better, and to Tim Hortons once but that was mainly because I had to feed my kid lol so I treated myself to a small ice cap…. I’m not lying when I say I used to drink a medium ice cap pretty much daily. Now that just grosses me out… SO…MUCH…SUGAR!!
I have also learned that I can have a healthy relationship with food. I am a very all or nothing person, so in the past I was very much a eat whatever I want, however much I want, or a count every single calorie and barely eat kind of person. If I am craving something I drink a big glass of water, and If I am still craving it I just eat a small portion. For example after eating super healthy all day yesterday, and doing an intense sprint, and leg training workout, I had to go grocery shopping late at night after the kiddos were in bed. I really wanted something chocolately and sweet, so I bought a little bag of 2 bite brownies (my favourite thing ever). I opened them and tried to eat just one but I ate all 4. In the past if I was trying to diet, and did something like that I would be so angry with myself and then usually fall off the healthy train. Now I just accept it and own it and just start again with my healthy choices at the next meal. Life is too short not to have a treat every now and then. Even if its not “cheat meal” day. Does it hinder my progress? Maybe but darn were they good. I’ve got big goals and I am staying focused, 4 little brownies isn’t going to stop me and my goals!
I have learned I do not have insomnia like I once thought. In the past, most nights I would be up until 2am. I just couldn’t fall asleep, and then in the morning I had to drag myself out of bed. I would feel so groggy until like 11 am. Now I wake up at 7am with ease (most days) and go to bed between 11 and 11:30 – even though I am a night owl and like to work on blog posts, and filming/editing for my youtube channel late at night, I am so beat its hard to keep my eyes open. It’s crazy what working out intensely 6 days a week does!
I have learned how capable my body is. Something I am thankful for every day. Our bodies want to be healthy. When we start treating them right consistently, they respond quickly. We feel better, we look better. Every work out I feel a little bit stronger, and can push a little bit harder.
I have learned to let my husband love me again. No matter my size he loves me, but when you love yourself first its a lot easier to let them love you. I always used to squirm away from his cuddles, because I was grossed out by stomach rolls, and stretch marks. I was so ashamed that my body had changed so drastically from the girl he married. I didn’t feel sexy anymore. When you take care of yourself you naturally start to feel better, and its a lot easier to let your significant other love on you. Love yourself first.
I am continuing to learn things through this process, and I am excited to see what else I have learned in a months time, 6 months time, and a year from now. The biggest thing I have learned is there is no going back from here. I feel too good now, to go back to feeling so bad!