I love my grandma and have very fond memories of her through out the years. She is a beautiful, hard working woman who has been with us for 94 years and I am so thankful for every day we get with her. Watching my mom as a grandma, has been a pretty cool experience….
Grandma’s. “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them”. I think this phrase was designed just for Grandmas. Well my mom anyways. I remember being in my early 20’s (who am I kidding late teens) and I could not wait until I didn’t have to live under my parents roof anymore. I was fiercely independent, and rebelled against my mother for most of my teenage life. I couldn’t wait to be on my own, and not have to live with her anymore. I say her not them, not because my parents were divorced, or my dad wasn’t around. Simply because my mom was the rule maker and enforcer, and my daddy just let me get away with pretty much anything. My mom and I butt heads…A LOT. Now that I am a mother myself, I see that it is just because we are so alike in many ways. Independent, strong willed, stubborn, and non forgiving. I’m working on that last one though! I admire my mom in so many ways. She became a mom at 16, and continued to work to help support her family. Money was never easy, and it was always a struggle to get by, especially as she paid her tuition and raised 2 daughters. When she was a bit older, and as she says “the mothering instinct actually kicked in” she had my brother and I. My brother has Down Syndrome, any mama out there reading this that has personal experience knows, and I am sure can agree with me on this. Children with mental or physical disabilities are harder to raise. Period. I am not saying the joy is not there, because believe me it is, but when you are “mom” to someone who will never be able to be fully independent, it’s hard. My mom was such a strong advocate for my brother. He was teased, bullied, needed extra help with everything, and quite frankly a lot of work. He had many specialist appointments, and needed special school programs. I look at my life right now with 2 young kids and I think wow, how did my mom do it. I do think she had a hard time dividing her care for us, as my brother always needed more. In my selfish young thinking, I always wanted more, not seeing the big picture. I am sure this is a big reason why I acted out so much. The whole point of this post is bringing this full circle to today. The “you can’t live without them” part. She was baby sitting for me while I had an appointment. The appointment ran 1 hour past when I told her I would be home. I then got stuck in traffic due to a highway closure, putting me 2 and a half hours past when I was supposed to be picking up sweets and lovey. When I finally got there, she wasn’t upset. Even though I was late. Even though Lovey had a poop accident in her pants and she had to clean it up, and I didn’t leave a spare change of clothes. Even though I ruined her personal plans for the afternoon. She just smiled and told me what a great time she had with the girls. The girls came running to me boasting about the special oversized stuffies that Omie surprised them with. Then my mom told me about how the girls just cuddled with her for the first half hour because “they missed her”.
My mom wasn’t perfect, but she did her best. I spent so many wasted years wishing, and waiting to get away from her, only to realize how special she truly is. How loved I am, even though she isn’t the most affectionate. How alike we are. How every “rule” she was enforcing was only to teach me to be an independent, contributing member of society. She wasn’t my best friend, but she was my best mom and I am so thankful for her. This is why grandmas are the best. They love you, they support you, and they love your kids no matter what, and one day… One day you will turn out to be just like them. So cherish the moments while they are here and healthy. Let them give your kids sweets, and rile them up then send them back to you. After all isn’t that what Grandma’s are for?